Renewing the blog

In case you have been following this blog (which I doubt), you may have noticed that there are no posts since November. Mostly because that set-up took a LOT of work. I mean, come on! How logical was it for me to itemize how much I spent on every single item??? And then I'm writing out my menu and itemizing how much it costs per meal--FOR EACH MEAL?!?

I was on crack. Figuratively, of course.

My interest in this blog has been revived.My youngest son (who shall be henceforth known as Monster and turned 3 in February 2011) continually showed no interest in potty training. I've been trying everything (no more advice. I'm at the "If I Get One More Piece of Potty Training Advice..." point of the program. I keep going back to one thing: digestive issues. Basically, the kid has had diarrhea for two and a half years, has barely hung on to the 10th percentile in height (Dad is over six feet and I'm 5'8". Yes, there are some shorter people in the family (and I don't care if he takes after them), but I just don't believe that he's supposed to be particularly small). I've asked his doctors, I've seen a GI doc, I've had a developmental neonatalogist tell me "you're just going to have to get rid of your preconceived notions of this child and accept that he's not going to be very big" (this is the same bitchface to told me my kid was autistic. We didn't go back).I've asked nurses, changed doctors and all anyone has told me is that he has no food allergies (he's been tested), that I just need to give him some yogurt and bananas and he'll firm right up.

I did what they told me and the kid had diapers that exploded for the next two days.

I finally called bullsh*t on them. It was either that or become resigned to the fact that he's going to college in a diaper.

I took him off dairy a couple weeks ago and we went from 6-7 poops per day to 1-2, but I still wasn't convinced that was all there was to the story. He still couldn't control it (I won't get into how. It's gross and you don't care. If you do care, drop me a line. I'll give you the ins and outs.). I asked around and heard about a chiropractor named Dr. Tim Kelly who is supposed to be a guru with digestive issues (among other things...www.drtimkelly.net). I've never given much credence to chiropractors, but there was no doubt that it was time to try a different approach.

We went to see Dr. Kelly yesterday. He absolutely took his time and thoroughly explained what his profession is about and explained the cycle of what's happening in Monster's body. I took a Monster's food diary and, basically, I'm feeding my kid completely wrong. F*ck. I was given supplements to help clean out his system and a guideline of how to feed him. No gluten, no soy, no dairy (at least I had that right!), lots of fresh vegetables and meats high in Omega-3 fatty acids (Wild game, grass-fed beef, eggs and seafood).

We left the office 3 hours later. Monster and Monkey (Monster's big brother) were starving and I was completely ill-prepared for the undertaking. So, what was our first meal? Pasta. Way to go, Mother of the Year.

I did spend most of the night on the internet looking up dairy-free, gluten-free and vegan recipes. I need to do some serious grocery shopping.

So, Day One:

Breakfast: trail mix, dairy-free smoothie with supplements given by Dr. Kelly, Almond milk

Snack: Grapes, Orange sections

Lunch: Grilled skinless chicken leg, carrots, hummus, grapes, fruit juice

Snack: popcorn popped in coconut oil, almond milk

Dinner: Grilled tandoori chicken kebobs, roasted new potatoes with leeks and mushrooms, carrots with honey-dijon sauce, dairy-free smoothie with supplements.

Still lacking in Omega-3s, but I have a bunch of kids under the age of 6 running around my house today. I'm not leaving the house for anything other than ER visits and the liquor store.