Oh, For F*ck's Sake!

Things today that I've found out contain soy, wheat or dairy:

Peanuts. Yes, peanuts. At least Publix brand dry-roasted ones.

Almond butter, if you aren't watching the ingredients.

Edamame (yes, this should have been obvious, so I have no idea why this took me by surprise)

McDonald's French Fries. Are you F*CKING KIDDING ME?!?!

Rice Crispies. I suspected as much, but was hopeful.

Quaker Oats

I currently just want to cry. I feel like I have spent my entire weekend cooking. I was supposed to go grocery shopping today and, after planning my menu, I just didn't have it in me. I need to have easily portable meals for the Man and the Monkey (who has karate camp this week). Man doesn't do leftovers. He wants his turkey sandwich and his cheese sandwich, his yogurt, his orange and his Baked Cheetos. I've been making this for him every day for years. It rarely changes unless I'm out of something. Monkey starts his morning with chicken nuggets. I have no idea why, but that's his breakfast of choice. Mini wakes up wanting cereal. I need to hit Trader Joe's, but that adds a fourth store to my weekly routine. I'm an avid couponer and hate paying full price for ANYTHING. I save an average of 40-50% weekly and this whole Special Diet thing has kicked my cheap ass sideways. So, after I hit Publix, Walgreens and the international grocery (and/or the farmer's market (produce ain't cheap and we went through a lot of it BEFORE we went gluten-free)), now I have to make sure I hit Trader Joe's.

OH FOR F*CK'S SAKE!!!!

I'm going back to school in the fall. My oldest is starting kindergarten. I DON'T HAVE THE F*CKING TIME TO GO TO 4-5 DIFFERENT GROCERY STORES AND MAINTAIN A MARRIAGE! Have you ever TRIED to take kids to a grocery store? IT'S A PAIN IN THE ASS!!! It's never fast. It's never easy. It makes me want to scream.

To top it off, Monster's nasty diapers have been more frequent and more explosive. I had to change clothes, sheets and the WATERPROOF mattress pad. Is this going to get better? I know it's only been a few days, but I didn't think things would be getting worse.